Choosing Your Thoughts: How to Take Control of Negative Emotions
Have you ever found yourself stuck in a spiral of negativity, feeling like your emotions are completely out of your control? Maybe your teen says something that triggers frustration, or a tough situation leaves you feeling hopeless. It’s easy to believe that our emotions happen to us, but what if I told you that you have more control than you think?
The way we think about a situation directly influences how we feel about it. And the good news? You get to choose your thoughts.
The Power of Thought Choice
Our thoughts create the lens through which we experience life. When we believe that our emotions are simply reactions to external events, we feel powerless. But when we understand that our thoughts shape our emotions, we can take back control.
For example, imagine your teen rolls their eyes and mutters something under their breath. Your immediate thought might be, They don’t respect me at all! This thought can quickly trigger frustration, anger, or even sadness. But what if you had a different thought? What if you told yourself, They’re having a tough day. This isn’t about me. That small shift in thought can create a completely different emotional response—one that allows for patience, understanding, and calm.
Managing Negative Emotions
Negative emotions aren’t bad. They’re a natural part of life. The problem arises when we let them control our reactions. Instead of trying to suppress or ignore negative feelings, try these steps:
Pause and Acknowledge – Notice what you’re feeling without judgment. Naming your emotion can help create distance from it.
Identify the Thought – Ask yourself, What thought is causing this emotion? Often, it’s not the event itself but the meaning we assign to it.
Question the Thought – Is this thought serving you? Is there another way to view the situation that aligns more with the person you want to be?
Choose Intentionally – Decide on a thought that leads to the kind of emotional response you want to have.
My FOCUS Framework
In my coaching practice, I teach a powerful framework to help parents navigate these exact challenges. I call it the FOCUS model, and it’s designed to help you shift your thoughts, regulate your emotions, and improve your relationships.
While I won’t go into all the details here, this approach has helped countless parents move from frustration and conflict to calm and connection. And I’d love to help you apply it in your own life.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
If you’re tired of feeling overwhelmed by your emotions and reactions, I invite you to book a free consultation with me. In our session, we’ll explore your biggest struggles and start shifting the way you think—so you can feel more in control and more connected to your teen.
Click below to schedule your free consultation. Let’s work together to create the peace and connection you deserve!
Colorado 2023
